Monday, November 12, 2007


Hillary Clinton gave a pep talk to her alma mater Wellesley College Friday. The campus is reeling from the news that a Wellesley student was arrested for trying to stab her boyfriend to death. Not every Wellesley student is as forgiving as Hillary.

President Bush compared Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Adolf Hitler on Thursday. That's silly. There's been a Broadway musical about Adolf Hitler but there could never be one about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad because there are no homosexuals in Iran.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger startled listeners last week when he ad-libbed that marijuana is not a drug, it's a leaf. It caused widespread dismay. The writers weren't even on strike yet and already the actors didn't know what to say.

Hillary Clinton denied Sunday she is secretive about her past work on health care reform. She said people don't understand how the National Archives handles their documents. The public can see everything once they get Sandy Berger's pants off.

Condi Rice denounced General Pervez Musharraf for his crackdown in Pakistan on Monday. The same day, President Bush defended Musharraf as a strong fighter against radicals. This was enough to convince the tabloids they're no longer seeing each other.

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg's political advisor said Monday the mayor would spend a billion dollars of his own money on an independent White House run. His entry wouldn't change the outcome. As a billionaire conservative he'd take votes from Republicans and as an admitted sexual harasser he would take donors from the Clintons.

The Writers Guild strike put late-night comics into reruns Monday. This should help President Bush. Instead of raking him over the coals over waterboarding they'll be raking Bill Clinton over the coals for ruining the carpet in the Oval Office study.

GOP candidate Ron Paul took in four million dollars in donations Tuesday. The longtime Texas congressman and gynecologist vows to pull out of Iraq immediately and abolish the IRS. He is a lot like Reagan except those aren't his feet in the stirrups.

Hillary Clinton said Tuesday she supports governors who are dealing with the problem of driver's licenses for illegal aliens but not necessarily what they do about it. No wonder the illegal alien vote is for her. Hillary's the patron saint of trimming and hedging.

The Senate opened a formal probe into televangelists Tuesday. The senators say televangelists are living in opulent luxury by preying on the poor and the sick. If they want to do that they're going to have to run for office just like everybody else.

Kathleen Willey just wrote a book about her experience in the Oval Office with President Clinton. It affects her to this day. Every time she watches Addams Family re-runs and that hand comes out of the box, she runs screaming from the room.

Retired federal judge Michael Mukasey was narrowly approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee for Attorney General Tuesday. The judge is one tough customer. It took three long weeks but he finally agreed that confirmation hearings are torture.

Fox Network had to suspend production of its counterterror drama Twenty-Four last week. The show became a casualty of the writer's strike. President Bush took the megaphone out of the desk drawer and vowed he will bring the Writers Guild to justice.

Hillary Clinton's campaign denied Thursday that she and her staffers failed to tip a waitress at a restaurant in Iowa last month. Actually she gave her an excellent tip. She told her never to answer a question about driver's licenses for illegal aliens.

hat tip Pookie 18

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